Different routes..same destination!
May 9, 2006 by parijaatha
The road:
He stood there in the evening light basking him in an ethereal golden light. He stood in front of the photo frame lost in thought.Tomorrow would be his 25th wedding anniversary…and his wife and children had gone out for shopping.The whole air was festive..and he was here feeling a lil nostalgic….guess age was catching up with him!
He took the photo frame and went and sat on the easy chair…and looked at the young man and woman..standing uncomfortably beside each other…and he smiled thinking that it almost seemed impossible that he had spent 25 years of life with this woman. It seemed strange that even after 25 years of life together..he didn’t know whether he loved her. He cared about her..he was used to her…depended on her..but did he love her?
He didn’t have anything against her…only that when he got married to her…he was still nursing a broken heart…and at that time..she seemed as good as any to get married.
She was not the woman of his dreams..of that he was sure. He had wanted a spirited spunky rebel …and he had found her to be patient, soft spoken and content. In the beginning it irritated him to no extent …but slowly he had grown accustomed to her gentle smiles..her understanding ways.
He had been in love with a beautiful girl..full of life..very talented..high-spirited.But as expected she didn’t love him back. His inexperienced heart could not take the rejection. In spite of all the hurt..he couldn’t help continuing to loving her. To him she stood for all that symbolized womanhood-beauty, spirit and unpredictability.
When his practical side intervened and he married…his wife seemed too docile…too bland; he couldn’t help comparing..this tongue tied shy girl to his outspoken sweetheart…
Slowly the memory of that enchantress faded..and caught in the hum-drum of life, he packed his memories..swept the pieces of his broken heart into one corner..and went ahead with useless things..which constitute our lives.
Slowly he..got used to his new wife…he started noticing her little charming ways..the amused smile which hovered on her face..when she thought him stupid…the way she straightened out things…the way she would giggle reading her romance novels..her love for old Hindi classics..and the way she would hum in the kitchen….
He came very close to realizing how important she was to him..when they had their first baby…and slowly he started loving her..the long nights they put in for the baby…the way she always smiled…and these kind of little things…he didn’t know whether he was “in love” with her..but he loved her and wanted her in his life.
Sometimes…when his daughter laughed..he would be reminded of the care-free laughter of the girl whom he had loved so intensely.
He did not regret his life…but sometimes…when he was alone..in the evening times..and the light was just so…he wondered…what would have happened if he had married her instead!
The other road:
He stood there in the evening light basking him in an ethereal golden light. He stood in front of the photo frame lost in thought.Tomorrow would be his 25th wedding anniversary…and his wife and children had gone out for shopping.The whole air was festive..and he was here feeling a lil nostalgic….guess age was catching up with him!
He took the photo frame and went and sat on the easy chair…and looked at the young man and woman..standing beside each other..their belief in love total…and he smiled thinking about the stupidity of young love…they had thought life would be a bed of roses….
Being in love was easy..but marriage was a different ball game all together.He remembered those days when he would wait for hours on end just to catch a glimpse of her…his ears always alert to catch her speak a word…her out spoken ways…her charming laugh…everything seemed perfect.
There was this one small problem in his love story…she didn’t love him back. She considered him a good friend and nothing else. And her coldness hurt him more than he could believe. He continued to love her in spite of her indifference….
But age forces one to turn practical….and he conceded to his parents wishes and agreed to get married. He didn’t care whom he married..for in his broken heart…there wasn’t place for anyone but her!
When he saw the prospective gal’s pic..she seemed like the typical Indian girl, parents choose for their sons. She seemed cowed..who would never pull a person’s leg…always pliant..always accommodating!
But somehow in the way she held her head…told you she was made of sterner stuff! but he didn’t want a life with her. He knew from her pic that she would never throw back her head and laugh..or show her tongue to him!!!
He ran out of his house..almost in panic…and found his love in the library reading some novel.
He sat beside her and looked into her eyes and said “I want you..if you don’t say yes..i will spend my life trying to make you say”yes”..but a no is not anywhere in the picture”. She looked surprised..and then she broke out into uncontrolled laughter..and in between her giggles…said “ok..we will give it a shot!”
And after that…..life seemed too perfect to his eyes. He loved everything about her-her vitality..her unpredictable nature…her volatile temper. Life with her seemed like a roller coaster ride.
He had somehow convinced his parents..and they had gotten married. After sometime..he began to realize that a roller coaster ride may be fun but ride it for too long…it makes one nauseous. What was her quirky unpredictable nature after some time… seemed to him like sheer fickle mindedness… What was priorly spirited nature…seemed just like bad temper..but when she snuggled up to him..and nuzzled her nose against his..and said “forgive me?”…he could feel the old magic all over again.
Life was fun…thrilling..and he never knew a moment’s peace.
She would throw tantrums..but sometimes…sing for him in the moonlight..or put in notes telling how she loved the way he looked at her… She laughed like a small girl…and it seemed to him that he loved her most for that.
They fought…they screamed at each other….but when they were happy they were blissfully so.life was intense…and every moment was worth it.
When he married her, he was sure of the fact that he was madly in love with her…but 25 years had eroded his confidence. He cared about her; he wanted to be near her; he adored her…he was pretty sure ..when she laughed her reckless laugh..he loved her. But whether he was “in love “ with her..he was not sure anymore..
He smiled and rubbed his tired eyes..and thought..that’s what time does…takes away your “forever” sureties..and leaves you confused.
He was content..he had no regrets..his cup of life was full.
But sometimes…when he was alone..in the evening times..and the light was just so…he wondered..what would have happened if he had married the docile girl instead!
Wow…sakkattagide! Amazing!
- Vasuki
amazing one! very nice!
(The road avnu huccha. His love has to be unconditional for his wife. Maneli mahalakshmi antha hendthi ittkondu..doubt bere love maadthidina illva antha nann magange! :D)
lo goobe!neenu idiyalla Sriramachandra..ninge maduve aadre hendathi ne love maduvante….!!
amazing
this is so true…its freaky! -Deepti
So when’s your first book of short stories coming out ;)… You are actually working towards something you like. Cool.. I’ll publish your book if you’ll give me a cut of it
hehehehe…
ok, I wanted to make a few points regarding the story.
It seemed strange that even after 25 years of life together..he didn’t know whether he loved her. He cared about her..he was used to her…depended on her..but did he love her?
First of all, love is not something that is constant. Love is always evolving. The “in love feeling” that we talk about is nothing but a physical manifestation in the early stages. How can one have that feeling for ever in one’s life..it is impossible.
As an analogy (and an extremely crude one that..), my heart leaps up whenever I see Mysore. There is an undeniable attraction towards the place. Whereas, you may not feel the same. It is not that you don’t love Mysore, but you relate to it at a more deeper level..you feel a holistic sense of belongingness towards it..that is true love. As any student would probably know, the initial physical manifestations of love are nothing but chemical reactions within the body/brain which gives you the overall feeling of being “in love” with a person. It is nothing but a genetically programmed way in which one is attracted to a mate in an effort to pass on his/her genes to his/her progeny. Once that is accomplished, there is *absolutely* no way that the same feeling of “in love” will continue throughout one’s life. Even a child is attracted greatly to his new toys..but when its brain becomes accustomed to the fact that the toy is going to stay with him, he/she doesn’t feel the initial excitement. Perhaps that is the part which people misunderstand and ask themselves “What happened to our love?”. The reality is that love has evolved beyond that and they have failed to recognize love in caring, sharing, mutual respect and admiration. And, if one does recognize that true love, then there is absolutely no way that one can even think on the lines of “What would have happened if I had married someone else?” It becomes just impossible to even think in that way. Even if he/she forces himself to think in that way, it will return a negative answer.
Searching for the “in-love” feeling (that the men in the story are hankering after..) after marriage is akin to enjoying your TV set, TV programmes and telling “I liked the initial packing in which the TV came…wonder what happened to the glossy box?”. That glossy box is meant to be gone after some time and thinking about it with starry eyes is more or less foolishness.
hmmm..the grass is always greener on the other side.but what i like is the way equal justice has been done to both the characters in the story-the docile girl and the unpredictable one.u could have taken sides with one, but u chose to potray both as interesting.
hima
Hmmm..First of all I really admire you for having enough patience to tell us all..about things,which we already know.
But,when we have options..and we make a choice..there is a voice at the back of your head which says “Maybe you should have chosen the other one!”.Be it love..a job.. a TV set…even a pair of shoes!!!
This story was to say..that life gives you no concrete answers to the questions you put forth..
done deal!!!When can I expect my book to hit the stands?
Thanks Hima…Anil thinks I don’t write well:((((
Oh, ok.
It was definitely not about the story, which can run according to the writer’s whim. I was just expressing my view about a thread drawn from the story objectively.
Anyways, Sorry for expressing my view on your journal and wasting your precious time by making your read things which you already know.
You can rest assured that your journal won’t see my uncalled-for (and also called-for?) comments again.
Raghu!!!Come on…yaava matdalli ninna sense of humor bitt bande?
I was just kidding..If I offended your rather prickly sensibilities…I am sorry
Your comments are always welcome
hey !!
need to sey this..you have awesome imagination.
grass is always greener on the other side.