Foreword:
Becoz of the overwhelming angry response from my readers, I would like to add these following notes
This post
-was a failed attempt to be funny.
-This is not the opinion of all women…just mine.When I use “women” I actually mean me(n a few gals I know).
-I have nothing against any guy(other than Timberlake and Upen Patel).When I mean women are nice I do not in anyway imply that men are in any way less nice.
-When I mean men..I actually mean men I know.There might be many men who hate cars and mechanics..n love pottery n cooking.I totally respect you and whatever it is you feel.
-This is not exactly high brow.Its not smart or imaginative or cool.Its slightly pretentious..but some pretension never hurt any one.
I am in a strange kind of dilemma. However much I pretend…the honest truth is that it does matter what people think of my posts. Anything surreal or descriptive…Vasuki freaks out. Anything which is not dreamy Saif yawns (loudly) while reading; I gave up poetry as I cant rhyme and anything related to my dance class offends people enough to make rude suggestions
So I have decided to just rant and throw some useless nuggets of feminine wisdom/facts/thoughts at you.So here it is-
Women don’t like adjustable chairs (I know two other girls who hate them along with me…so the generalization). In my office I was always afraid that the chair would suddenly collapse down. In fact I do not like anything which comes with screws. Anything mechanical, technical or electrical freaks me out. Of course there are some brave women who have overcome these fears…but I do not think they “enjoy” changing a bulb or fixing a carburetor. My husband loves staring at the insides of a car engine…and gazes at his tool kit as if it were a Van Gogh painting. I think that’s why women marry men…not having to change the fuse.
Women don’t like kids anymore than you do….ok! Some crazy women do. But mostly…we don’t. Of course when a baby gurgles…we find it adorable. But when they howl…we are just as terrified as any guy is. Impertinent kids get on our nerves as much as they get on yours. I have seen boys who expect girls to make cute faces at any kid which passes by. Women love their kids…not all kids. Period.
You have cricket, soccer, golf, baseball and video games. We have shopping. Let’s not be rude to each other.
Women are not dumb. If a girl scores better than you…of course she mugs up all the answers. A female gets a promotion; she must be sleeping with the boss. We beat you all at you own game and get you all to marry us and give us your credit cards. That’s pure genius!
A guy has many girl friends…oooh! He is a woman killer. Girl has many boy friends…she must be a slut. Double standards? You bet. That’s why we have our revenge by nagging and complaining of headaches.
Never ever praise someone else’s wife in front of yours. Better slash your own wrists. In fact don’t praise any woman in front of us (other than Mother Theresa and Oprah). In the book of “Things you should never do in front of your wife” this is next only to answering the question “Do I look fat?” with a yes or a pause!
We have resigned ourselves to the fact that you’ll never get over staring at other women. But drooling with your eyes popping out? Please refrain.
On a date…never
Tell us how sweet you are.
Crib about your ex.
Whine about how costly eating out is.
Stare anywhere below our neckline.
Lecture about nuclear physics.
Wear anything shiny and red.
Women like puppies. But not men who act like puppies. There is no bigger turn off than desperation. Don’t be cold either. Be interested and suave. Humphrey Bogart never drooled over a woman. That’s why he got kissed so many times.
For the love of God…cut your nails.
Now…I know most of you will comment saying that I am a feminist and I write mean things about men…just for the fun of it.
You are absolutely right.
Do you seriously believe all those things you said or is it just another “ooh-I-knew-you-would-react-to-that” strategy?
Come on, dont give me this we-women-dont-like-technicality act…you have opened a blog, you love your laptop, you even know unix commands…now you dont want to accept your ‘technical’ side, may be because you fear it ruins your surrealist or dreamy image! Not all men are techno-mechanical, I know a lot of men (including me) for whom the only technical thing they know about a car is changing flat tires! And I know lot of girls who are crazy about F1! And you love soccer! Now, dont tell me thats some ‘mysterious’ garbage to surprise the guys!
If you dont make cute faces at kids, thats great. But, dont you know lot of girls DO make cute faces at kids. Are they trying to live up to the “reputation” for the “mean”, “lousy” men? I dont think so!
I honestly dont think women are dumb. They have various skills that men dont have (for example, parallel processing, which I dont men can even dream to match) So, I think female intelligence deserves more credit (not just credit cards!)
Not every girl loves Bogart. Half of them dont even know him – they end up loving Salman Khan and the likes. So dont generalize! I dont claim that all men have a good taste just because I happen to have it
Double standards? I agree, it exists on this planet. No matter how hard we try, we have not succeeded in completely eliminating it. I honestly think we should work towards it.
I think women are as such wonderful creatures. They dont need to degrade a man to feel great. Men are from earth, women are from earth. Deal with it!
- V
ooooooooooh!someone left his humor back in his house…
Please mention the names of the many girls you know who love F1…not one or two..there must be many.(not the ones who think the drivers are cute)
I like soccer becoz it has lot of hot men running around in shorts(also becoz its fierce and passionate..but mostly its the men in shorts).We women can be shallow too.
I never called men “lousy” and “mean”.I do know some women who make faces at things becoz its expected of them.Just like men who dont cry as thats what expected and ingrained into them.
When I talk about men..I am by no means referring only to you.For every one guy like you..there are 10 guys who think that behind every successful woman is a great ass!
Maybe very few women are aware of someone called Humphrey Bogart.I do not know any woman who knows him and still thinks he isnt classy.For me that will do.Lets leave teenage girls who dig Salman out of our conversation.For every girl who likes Bogart or Gable..there are ten girls who like Salman and Timberlake.For every man who likes Grace Kelly there are ten who like Britney and Paris Hilton.Big Deal!
The whole purpose of this post was not to say that men are mean(i think some of them are gorgeous..particularly those who play soccer)
A person should be able to state her opinions(even silly ones) without having to give so many explanations.
And for the last time I do not try to make women sound mysterious.We all are creatures of great magic.I can only state a woman’s point of view.Becoz I am one.
wow, the wise women speaketh of self-admitted silly opinions and anybody who hath an alternate opinion suddenly loseth his sense of humor. (I know I used less of
so I could have been misunderstood for losing my humor!)
If men watch tennis to watch Sharapova’s legs, its “ah-men”, but women watching soccer to watch gorgeous men is what – mystery? grace? I dont know!
See my whole point is there are mean men, mean women…adventurous men, adventurous women…boring men, boring women etc. In each category, it definitely wont be 50-50 but not too drastic also and thats understandable.
Your pontification made me react that way and you know, I can be uncool at times. After all, I am a man!
- V
When did I say men should not watch Sharapova’s legs?Except Saif anyone can watch anyone’s legs.
No..its not about having an alternate opinion..but being so strong about it.It was a list..big deal.
And where did I say..only men are mean and boring and all women are adventurous?You read too much into stuff!
I think if you read it without feeling that I am out there to curse all men..you will actually not hate it so much.
It was a silly(I intended it to be funny and clearly missed the mark) post..why are you so mad at me for it?
And seriously..read your comment.It emanates rage.
And I am still waiting for the long list of girls who love F1.
Too much generalisation !! U should have added “some” in front of a few lines and “most” in front of the others !!
And the other thing – some “universal” truths are better left untold !!
-Karthik
I am not mad at you…I was just irritated thats it…
I agree with the other commenter that it was highly generalized and missed “some” and “many” in most places…
Hey, come on, if you can be silly, permit me to be uncool…may be I over-reacted a bit (you should not be so surprised by that)…I dont know (for a change, I am not telling it like Robert de Niro, I have learnt to say it like Marlon Brando
)
- V
Ranjitha, Sharanya, Karin, Shivali, Divya,…forget it you dont know them anyways
- V
for all I know you can be making up those names:)))
Karthik..I was under the delusion that I was writing something funny.And you know one cant be funny by saying “most women” or “some women”…at least I cant.When I do that..I sound sensible.
I wasnt writing a serious truthful account of how women feel…coz I have no idea.I just want to have some fun.
Now I am so tired screaming that I was 1)Not trying to give a truthful portrait of a woman’s psyche 2)Not calling men lousy n mean
I am now depressed;)
Anyways…from now on..i will leave all truths untold.Infact I will try not to lie as well:)
ok
In all fairness, the post was funny – the foreword and u’r explanations make it even more funny !! And i sent it to a gal – and she too had a good laugh
))
-Karthik
I hope I remember the password to my account. Its been long since I posted
. Anyways, don’t fret. Me’s not been not reading your blog. Me’s been following closely. Just in the shadows is all 
>Women don’t like adjustable chairs
I’m wondering what kind of chairs they have in a beauty salon? I do believe they are way more adjustable than any office chairs I’ve ever seen. Crossing out mechanical, technical, electrical (aren’t you from EC by the way?) kinda puts you back in the stone age doesn’t it? I can see how Darwin’s theory will pan out for the next few generations
>but I do not think they “enjoy” changing a bulb
No one enjoys changing a light bulb. But we do enjoy the peace that is a result of having changed it (as opposed to a rapid fire round if we don’t
)
>Women don’t like kids anymore than you do….ok!
No one said you do. And I can back you up on the yours not others’. I shall not touch too much upon this point since I don’t have one of these
>You have cricket, soccer, golf, baseball and video games.
Wrong, we have Baywatch
(just kidding of course… But TV yes.) Video games are so yesterday.
>Women are not dumb.
I agree. In fact, if they wanted to they could take over the world tomorrow… No.. Seriously.
>get you all to marry us and give us your credit cards
Let me know if you have any overly feministic friends who want to work while I sit at home and enjoy the luxuries
. But of course, you said you wouldn’t wish me on your worst enemy.
>Double standards?
You got me… Although I’m still trying to find that “one” who doesn’t have “many”
>Never ever praise someone else’s wife in front of yours.
I can at least now infer your whole post is true
… For the “Do I look fat” question, I generally reply with “A little gyming wouldn’t hurt” 
I love the duel. But of course, most people I like don’t need to lose weight.. They in fact need to gain.. So I’m safe there 
>We have resigned ourselves to the fact that you’ll never get over staring at other women
Can you resign yourself to the latter as well? It would help a lot. Well, drooling and ogling is relative… Define
>On a date…
Thanks for the advice.. I can see where I got it all wrong now
… What if I want to compliment that great necklace your grandma gifted you when you were young and blah blah blah.. I’m being genuine.. Honest…
>We women can be shallow too.
You should’ve told me this when I met you. Although I managed to figure it out for myself. You however did attempt to keep it a secret
>was a failed attempt to be funny.
Not really… Its quite good actually.. I’m waiting for your book release “Am I fat? And how to answer other unanswerable questions…”
I also see you’ve gone paid/advertising whatever that kinda LJ account is. Did you not notice the switch or did you purposely do it?
wah! a post with a foreword/disclaimer-To pacify all the men? How feminist can that be,,,,;)
I had to put in that foreword..you see, to continue being a feminist I had to be alive.I was getting murder threats from guys whose sensitivity I had hurt;)
When talking to a lady never say “when you were young”..it will lead to questions like “do I look like an old hag now?”
You say “when you were younger”..or “when you were a cute little girl”:D
You know…its not all that bad.When I ask Saif the classic(Do I look fat) question…he gets a belly laugh.And i still let him live.
I switched into blog with ads.More user pics allowed.
This definitely helps me feel better.To lose your sense of humor and all your male friends over just one post can be quiet discomforting
Also,that thing about Baywatch was funny…wonder how I missed such an important part of a man’s life;)
I disagree.. Girls will pick up a fight with no matter what you say. So you can say, “when you were younger”, “when you were cute and young” or whatever else you can conjour you will get the same replies. So yes, you look like an old hag or whatever else you think you look like
… More user pics? You’ve used only 4.. You get 6 for free…
With ads you can use 15 pics..but actually I dont have 15 pics I want to show anyone
BTW, that was me . I had logged out before reading your post;)
Mail them then.. Unless I come under the ‘anyone’ category..
I don’t think you have hurt any man… but you got to admit that…you don’t have sense of humour … I mean you simply coulndn’t transalte your fuuny (?) thoughts in to writing (printing:).
Please continue your diary with your husband … now this is funny
it was not funny but seems like read somewhere…kind of rehash..
but people think alike…
Please continue your diary with your husband????
What did you mean by that?
There was a short period of time when I thought I could be funny..but I never claimed to be original!
thank you
All those angry men!woof!;)