body beautiful

She walked out of the bath clad in a pink towel. She felt refreshed. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. She had to lose some pounds around her hips! When was the last time she had looked at her reflection without some negative thought creeping into her head? Maybe she should stop those subscriptions to Cosmo! Staring at those skinny models with their long legs was doing nothing good to her self esteem!

She wished she could stop comparing herself to other women. She wished that she could stop persecuting herself. Every time she met a woman she would immediately start comparing sizes and shapes and it was driving her crazy! She often had nightmares where she would enter a room and no guy would turn to look at her and all the women would make pitying noises!

She found it amusing that men actually thought women go through all that torture just to catch a man’s fancy! Bah! Every woman wants men to find her attractive but its not just that…women dress up, starve themselves and spend a fortune on cosmetics to make other women jealous or at least to keep up with the competition. More than anything it’s to shut that little voice in their heads which keeps saying “She looks better than you!”

She sat there rubbing moisturizer on her arms while the above thoughts floated inside her head. Then she remembered something she had read in that self help book-“Love your body, love yourself” by Grace King. For a few seconds she wrestled with self doubt but decided that she was going to do it.

She locked the door just to give herself the courage. She went nearer to the mirror. She looked at her eyes. Clear brown eyes. Not bad at all. Then she looked at her nose. It looked too big for her face! She chided herself-“Remember! No negative thoughts! Just observe.”

She looked at her cheekbones and traced the shape of her lips. She looked at the hollow of her neck, her strong shoulder bones and felt her ear lobes. She caught a strand of hair…and felt its texture. She was 28 years old and it was as if for the first time that she was discovering her body. She wiggled her toes; Pouted at her reflection; Traced her tongue on the insides of her mouth. She felt good.

She dropped the towel. At first she averted her eyes but she willed herself to look at the reflection. The reflection wasn’t hideous as she had expected to be. She noticed the contours of her body…the curves, the planes and the lines. She smiled.

She traced the scar on her knee. It was a souvenir from her childhood. Her body was like a scrapbook for the events which had happened in her life. She counted all the moles on her body. She decided that the one on her hip was her favorite mole.

She felt the way Columbus must have felt when he finally reached the new land.

“When I stand up…there are so many muscles, bones working in tandem to make it happen. When I smell something delicious there are a million neurons dancing crazily to carry the happy news to my brain. My skin is sensitive enough to distinguish between silk and chiffon. I am able to express exactly what I feel using my facial features. I can pick up a child, hold a rose, blow my nose and slap a guy with the same pair of hands. Why am I not grateful?”

She felt light…and carefree like a child. Maybe tomorrow will bring back the old fears and insecurities. But today…she felt only wonder for her body. She loved it. She was proud.